What living on the road has taught me about how women have it hard

What living on the road has taught me about how women have it hard

 

  1. The driving thing. Yes I am talking about women vs male drivers in large generalizations! Oh what fun this is! Women are going to have a harder time with this. I am six foot one inches, I can f-ing see around my vehicle, in fact I sit so high I can see over the Prius in front of me with my rig. My wife is only 7 inches shorter, but men step in a car, go seven inches lower and then go for a drive. I bet you decide this is unsafe and never do it. Drive just say 500 miles like that. Big TRUCKS were made for MEN. You can’t adjust them otherwise.
  2. The hair, now that is stereotype. As a man my hair is shoulder length, and so I have finally had the chance to experience it first hand. It is always in my eyes. Want to step out of the car and go to the grocery store? No f-in way! The wind dude! I am immediately blinded by hair. And your replacing this blown out tire with a wrench and scream ouch, no friggen way man…they aren’t weak women with hair but stronger. They just tore so much hair out on a lug nut their ego is so strong you just think they hurt their shoulder torqueing it on. Many men expect women to have long hair or else they are manly or whatever. So deal with your ladies blindness or pain from tearing hair out.
  3. No Shark Week. I mean Discovery channel style. Not to mention all the people that come up to flirt and stuff when you haven’t showered in ten days, and you’re really ready to cry and also kick that Mercedes that took up two parking spots at the friggen Laundromat. I am talking about your period. Men don’t have to be bi-polar once (or twice) a month. For days. I know if I had that happen to me you would find me with chicken noodle soup and ice cream crying for three days. I’d die and get eaten by a bear. Yeah women have us on this one.
  4. I couldn’t say enough about this one. Wonder why campgrounds are full of men? Women are terrified of them. Women are roughing it in the woods. I promise. I know. Men go caveman savage at campgrounds and see a single woman and KNOW that woman will sleep with them in their nice RV while he is drunk and swinging an axe. Guess what? Women are just getting drunk and swinging axes in the deep woods where men don’t see them. It’s just better that way. All single eligible men don’t go to campgrounds, get lost in the woods. That is where your soul is and it is also…where women are.
  5. Not much to say except after as a man you have peed outside for your whole life and then your lady pees outside for two years…and she still never got a cactus in her butt. I sure have. And when you get caught, I call it the perfection of a dropped contact for my lady, as for me just smiling and waving.
  6. Men have been raised to be proud of their poop, carrying a shovel into the woods means we are filling a hole and making a mountain. Women have been taught to be ashamed of any bodily functions, so there’s an added stigma when they do the same, though amazingly, their bodies are built to function just the same.
  7. Scary shit happening at night. I have a knife in one hand, pepper spray in another and even more lethal weapons within arms reach. My lovely lady says it was probably a squirrel. I open door. It is a squirrel. What are squirrels doing up at night?
  8. Engine mechanics. My lovely lady can do some fairly decent mechanics, change breaks, differentials, axels, engine oil etc. But she walks into a shop because she doesn’t have a T11 wrench and needs to borrow one, they tell her the vehicle is broke, needs $1,000 repair and it can’t “leave” the shop until this repair is done she is lucky they saved her life. Me…with long hair. Walks into shop. I need a T11 wrench my lower control arm is for whatever reason held on with one and it is loose. “Ok sir borrow this T11 wrench but I need to hold onto your drivers license until you return with it.” Problem solved.
  9. My dog. You’re a single lady with a dog. Oh my goodness my dog likes your dog too! That may very well be but my dog needs me and you creep me the f out. Oh the art of exiting a forced conversation, women have become quite skilled at this.

18 thoughts on “What living on the road has taught me about how women have it hard

  1. This is such bullshit. I know women truckersn and bikers they are smart enough to use a rubber band to keep hair from being an issue. They laughed when advised of yout misogynistic view of the issues you have assigned to them. You have miles to go before you ate able to deal. Women I know get it. You never will.

    1. Thanks Dean. Have you tried a rubber band for your hair? But that is besides the point. Thank you for reading and sorry if I insulted you manliness.

    2. Thanks for your words. I may never get what you wish me to get, maybe I don’t want to. Appreciate your comments and I am OK with typos. We are all human.

  2. Well being retired military I take offence to nearly everything you’ve said. I can drive my rig with the best of them. That includes backing, parking, parallel parking, hitching and unhitching. I have no issues camping, been doing it my who life. If I need to borrow a wrench from a place, I’m not so stupid as to believe their bull. If I know whats wrong with my rig I fix it, I don’t let someone else. I don’t take guff from anyone anymore. My dad was a trucker and so was my ex. who robbed me of a heck of a lot of money. We women are much stronger and better than you give use credit. I’ve seen just as many men who wouldn’t hold a candle to most the women I know. So pull your hair back, stop your sniveling and grow up.

    1. Thank you Jones. You got the point of the article, women generally are stronger than men. Thanks for your comment. My wife is far better driving our rig and hitching up than me (a man). That still does not change that our truck was made for a man and she still kicks my butt at most everything camping!

    2. Thanks! I sure hope to grow up happy and honest, I will pull my hair up if I need to more and take your advice! Appreciate your comment. Stay strong. Women are incredible! Sorry I offended the retired military.

  3. I loved reading this–laughed out loud at some parts, #7)–and loved reading the comments. Bravo for you for putting this out there to enlighten or entertain some folks, and for some to criticize. Most of these issues I have dealt with all of my 65 years, and rarely have they been acknowledged, let alone celebrated. Yes, women are stronger than men, j. jones, and I believe that is what he is saying. I raised him.

  4. I loved this and thanks for celebrating women! My husband thinks I’m pretty darn tough too and I can drive anything and park anything (thanks to 8 months as a valet). My husband doesn’t get sarcasm and it’s funny to me but very confusing at times to others. I feel that sometimes when I read negative comments, it’s not that the person is a bad or negative person, but perhaps they just “missed the message” or the heart of the message. I love your responses and your vibe.

  5. Why in the world would you feature a picture of a woman peeing by a water source? Not only does it make your article seem trashy it seems to promote behaviour that often leads to increased prices or closure of our forest areas. Not to mention spread of diseases.With the growing popularity of van life I have noticed that people often forget to mention the protection of our natural resources during thier blogs glorifying thier most recent journey or thier “well seasoned 6 months” worth of traveling advice. I have lived in my subaru for seven years,without thinking im some sort of instagram celebrity. Never once have I pissed or taken a shit less than 150 yards from a body of water,running or not. I bury my deposit properly and yes I PACK OUT my soiled paper in ziplocks. Feeling grossed out yet? Never once have I thrown feminine products into the woods or bushes even if it means packing it around on a three day hike in a zip local bag. I’m tired of seeing these young hipster types pretending to promote an outdoor lifestyle,making money off their van blogs and videos while they are secretly running rampant using nature as thier toilet! That is what is gross people.We have all seen it the little tatters of brown paper blowing haphazardly towards the favorite swimming hole. How about when your dog goes and rolls in something with the pungent aroma of feces? Then you see those little white and brown presents everywhere? Ever put two and two together? Take some responsibility for the lifestyle you choose to live. There used to be a code of conduct for travelers let’s carry the torch people not burn down a tradition in a single generation of morons. Keep pissing classy people.

    1. Oh Lindsay. Why the generalization? Not all vanlifers shit outside and leave their garbage. Some of us have toilets in our vans and even more so, most of us have respect. I’ve found more toilet paper at tent sites than back roads or wooded areas in my experience.
      Then you go as far as to insult people for having a following on instagram and their ability to make money doing something they’re passionate about. How can you say all of these “hipsters” are shitting everywhere? Have you caught them? Did they have their hipster badge on them? Or are you just assuming all the shit you’ve seen over the years is hipster shit? How about the dogs runnng a muck? Maybe the ones that shit and piss everywhere are only hipster vanlife dogs. You know the ones, shitting and pissing at beachs then hopping right back in the van on their way to the next place they choose to make a landfill. How about when dogs piss near the waters edge? Is that hipster?
      How about all of the children at the lake, do they hold it in out of respect for the environment? Fuck no!
      I’m the first one to speak up when someone disrespects the sanctity of our ecosystem but, I would never generalize and try to blame an entire community for something millions of people outside of that community have done for centuries.
      Don’t waste your hate, use it to create. You might surprise yourself.

      1. Thank you Steve. Contrary to popular belief. We loose about $200 a year on this website due to fees to run it. We opted not to use AdSense because we don’t necessarily believe we should promote products we haven’t tried. We make a tiny bit of money from people donating (thank you to them) and a tiny bit through amazon links. But overall it is a loss of money. We do it for the love. We aren’t perfect but let me be CLEAR to others we loose money, this is just a passion of ours to spread love.

    2. Well, actually, it depends…

      On river trips (like rafting the Grand Canyon), you piss *IN* the river. Everyone does. The Park Service requires it. It’s the cleanest solution, because there’s a ton of water to dilute the piss, vs. leaving it on the beach/rocks which would get disgusting in a hurry.

    3. Hi Lindsay please read our other blanket comment to other readers. And also we love Subaru’s. We lived in one for two years before opting for a diesel truck so we can burn biodiesel and better fuel mileage (call us liars or whatnot but it is true!) We also make no money whatsoever on this website or instagram. It actually costs us money. We don’t advertise like so many do to make $$$thousands. Our reasons might be different than yours, but we don’t want you to have to see ads, because we personally don’t like those websites. We just like writing. You can choose to read other’s websites and not ours if we offend you and I am very sorry. Sure does feel weird to pee into a toilet now into perfectly clean water doesn’t it? Have a lovely day and hope you feel good about your lifestyle and stand by your comment, we are always happy when someone is honest.

  6. Thank you all for your replies! Yes in this instance we camped next to a US military bombing range. Water was full of sulfur and bomb material. You were told to pee next to or in the water. Also as a side note we have not once in 493 days on the road left any toilet paper behind. That’s common respect. We call them kleenex trees! But we sure pick up lots of others trash left behind. I’d say on average we pick up 10 times the amount of trash we produce and take it all out of the woods. We are no angels, far from it. But yes, out of context maybe we look guilty of quite a lot! With love, Chris and Melissa.

  7. After watching every “Outdoors Is Free” video, and finding each so positive, refreshing, joyful, adventuresome. I find it a bit shocking that people want to be negative — or even “haters” — in a number of comments above. I believe the saying, “What you resist, you become.” For I’ve seen it happen a lot (including in myself. Yikes!) Why not find ways to promote and energize the good you see? Fighting the bad only energizes more bad. Mother Teresa understood the principle quite well when she said, “I will never attend an anti-war rally; if you have a peace rally, invite me.”

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