What living on the road has taught me about how women have it hard

What living on the road has taught me about how women have it hard

 

  1. The driving thing. Yes I am talking about women vs male drivers in large generalizations! Oh what fun this is! Women are going to have a harder time with this. I am six foot one inches, I can f-ing see around my vehicle, in fact I sit so high I can see over the Prius in front of me with my rig. My wife is only 7 inches shorter, but men step in a car, go seven inches lower and then go for a drive. I bet you decide this is unsafe and never do it. Drive just say 500 miles like that. Big TRUCKS were made for MEN. You can’t adjust them otherwise.
  2. The hair, now that is stereotype. As a man my hair is shoulder length, and so I have finally had the chance to experience it first hand. It is always in my eyes. Want to step out of the car and go to the grocery store? No f-in way! The wind dude! I am immediately blinded by hair. And your replacing this blown out tire with a wrench and scream ouch, no friggen way man…they aren’t weak women with hair but stronger. They just tore so much hair out on a lug nut their ego is so strong you just think they hurt their shoulder torqueing it on. Many men expect women to have long hair or else they are manly or whatever. So deal with your ladies blindness or pain from tearing hair out.
  3. No Shark Week. I mean Discovery channel style. Not to mention all the people that come up to flirt and stuff when you haven’t showered in ten days, and you’re really ready to cry and also kick that Mercedes that took up two parking spots at the friggen Laundromat. I am talking about your period. Men don’t have to be bi-polar once (or twice) a month. For days. I know if I had that happen to me you would find me with chicken noodle soup and ice cream crying for three days. I’d die and get eaten by a bear. Yeah women have us on this one.
  4. I couldn’t say enough about this one. Wonder why campgrounds are full of men? Women are terrified of them. Women are roughing it in the woods. I promise. I know. Men go caveman savage at campgrounds and see a single woman and KNOW that woman will sleep with them in their nice RV while he is drunk and swinging an axe. Guess what? Women are just getting drunk and swinging axes in the deep woods where men don’t see them. It’s just better that way. All single eligible men don’t go to campgrounds, get lost in the woods. That is where your soul is and it is also…where women are.
  5. Not much to say except after as a man you have peed outside for your whole life and then your lady pees outside for two years…and she still never got a cactus in her butt. I sure have. And when you get caught, I call it the perfection of a dropped contact for my lady, as for me just smiling and waving.
  6. Men have been raised to be proud of their poop, carrying a shovel into the woods means we are filling a hole and making a mountain. Women have been taught to be ashamed of any bodily functions, so there’s an added stigma when they do the same, though amazingly, their bodies are built to function just the same.
  7. Scary shit happening at night. I have a knife in one hand, pepper spray in another and even more lethal weapons within arms reach. My lovely lady says it was probably a squirrel. I open door. It is a squirrel. What are squirrels doing up at night?
  8. Engine mechanics. My lovely lady can do some fairly decent mechanics, change breaks, differentials, axels, engine oil etc. But she walks into a shop because she doesn’t have a T11 wrench and needs to borrow one, they tell her the vehicle is broke, needs $1,000 repair and it can’t “leave” the shop until this repair is done she is lucky they saved her life. Me…with long hair. Walks into shop. I need a T11 wrench my lower control arm is for whatever reason held on with one and it is loose. “Ok sir borrow this T11 wrench but I need to hold onto your drivers license until you return with it.” Problem solved.
  9. My dog. You’re a single lady with a dog. Oh my goodness my dog likes your dog too! That may very well be but my dog needs me and you creep me the f out. Oh the art of exiting a forced conversation, women have become quite skilled at this.

7 thoughts on “What living on the road has taught me about how women have it hard

  1. This is such bullshit. I know women truckersn and bikers they are smart enough to use a rubber band to keep hair from being an issue. They laughed when advised of yout misogynistic view of the issues you have assigned to them. You have miles to go before you ate able to deal. Women I know get it. You never will.

    1. Thanks Dean. Have you tried a rubber band for your hair? But that is besides the point. Thank you for reading and sorry if I insulted you manliness.

  2. Well being retired military I take offence to nearly everything you’ve said. I can drive my rig with the best of them. That includes backing, parking, parallel parking, hitching and unhitching. I have no issues camping, been doing it my who life. If I need to borrow a wrench from a place, I’m not so stupid as to believe their bull. If I know whats wrong with my rig I fix it, I don’t let someone else. I don’t take guff from anyone anymore. My dad was a trucker and so was my ex. who robbed me of a heck of a lot of money. We women are much stronger and better than you give use credit. I’ve seen just as many men who wouldn’t hold a candle to most the women I know. So pull your hair back, stop your sniveling and grow up.

    1. Thank you Jones. You got the point of the article, women generally are stronger than men. Thanks for your comment. My wife is far better driving our rig and hitching up than me (a man). That still does not change that our truck was made for a man and she still kicks my butt at most everything camping!

  3. I loved reading this–laughed out loud at some parts, #7)–and loved reading the comments. Bravo for you for putting this out there to enlighten or entertain some folks, and for some to criticize. Most of these issues I have dealt with all of my 65 years, and rarely have they been acknowledged, let alone celebrated. Yes, women are stronger than men, j. jones, and I believe that is what he is saying. I raised him.

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