We are not going anywhere in particular. When retrospectively analyzing human interactions I had through life it became clear that one theme stood out; people wanted to retire, people wanted freedom to explore themselves and they felt trapped. The impression I witnessed was that people felt the next step was to continue, maybe buy a house and then buy a bigger house with a yard to maintain with curious pride. It never occurred to me to turn right around and walk into the unknown, so I bought a house with my wife in Hawaii. From what I hear some people think this is actually too hard for them to do. I found the basics of devoting myself to a job and paying bills easy, but rather boring. Predictably my wife and I worked 40-55 hour work weeks to pay bills for things we never had time to enjoy, we owned a house but we preferred to spend our weekends outdoors, and we had neighbors in the same predicament; we weren’t connected to reality anymore.
Fleeing is defined as “running away from a place or situation of danger”. Danger lurks in many forms. It becomes clear at some point you can’t run away from getting older. Yet the older people got the more I witnessed a paralysis of the pursuit of life. No longer were they concerned that the chicken they ate on the table has a similar soul to the bird they watched contently for an hour as a kid. In fact they only recite what they hear in the media that animal abuse is wrong and factory farming isn’t healthy. They place little thought into the life they live and what they contribute to society that is original.
So if life was placed on “hold” so to say I saw a certain amount of liberty surrendered to the various forms of media and debt financial or moral. How free can we be without time well spent? If it is spent well, we shouldn’t have to communicate how well we spend it. I found conversations trivial, new people I met immediately wanted to know what I did for a living. If I told them a profession they would be content enough to move onto the next topic with little thought as to what I or they were saying. If I told them I was living life, or better yet I don’t really know, often it was met with a good long pause, and this opened communication as if all of a sudden some shield we were holding dropped to the ground. Most people almost couldn’t handle a conversation without that shield up; it’s as if I flat-out said to them “I don’t care what you do to make money, tell me why you make money.”
I saw a nation picking sides between radical right wing industrialists and conservative left wing humanist’s or whatever the latest slogan is. Nobody seemed to be listening to what nature was telling them, rather they were grabbing someone else’s keywords that linked to something they believed in and were ready to scream them at the top of their lungs. It’s as if we had built up walls of communication when we didn’t need to. If my latest catch-phrase didn’t parallel theirs all of a sudden we couldn’t have a real conversation.
For instance if I was a pacifist, I was challenged that I’m unrealistic and would I just sit and watch genocide, I wouldn’t allow war in that situation? Yet I couldn’t get across why that person wasn’t right now going to an area of known genocide to start shooting those killing others? I clearly mean if you believe in it do it, life is too short not to. In the same conversation I could say guns should be in the hands of almost everybody if they want them, unless we as a civilization come to a moral agreement to not use them on one another. I’d attempt to explain my seemingly conflicting view, but I was seen as another confused soul. There is little freedom to debate anymore, for we are programmed from others what a “normal” thought process is, and sadly it’s controlled by fear and politicians. Who have you met that honestly wants that job anymore and has a strong moral compass?
So to flee for me is to embark on our own journey TO retirement instead of WAITING for it.
The most efficient way to do this is to clear yourself of everything except basic obligations such as caring for yourself, your fellow family and neighbors and letting go of the rest. I heard a man tell me once; if you want to go fast go alone, if you want to go far bring company. This trip isn’t about going to work 15 miles away and then going home on the weekend to mow the yard alone and recover. This trip is about going far, and this trip began as an idea with a lovely wife and eager dog. For it to be successful we will seek out you and everyone we meet out on the road for truth. Responsibility is reality, and reality is truth, so here we share, hop on the path of real uncensored life.
The why is pretty difficult to explain. I’ll apologize upfront for the lack of clarity in my words and explanations, because it’s a topic that I never learned how to express in words. Its more seated in a feeling and a change in perspective. And perspective is everything, and everyone’s is unique. So to explain a change in my perspective is like playing telephone charades. But I’m going to try, because it’s the most important thing that’s ever happened to me.
As a human, there’s all this stuff I take for granted that is absurd. I take simple things for granted and then I build on those simple assumptions and then I make even more complicated assumptions and this continues and crosses over and connects to other assumptions. So I get confused all the time because I base my decisions on things that aren’t true. I’ll try an example, that might clarify things. And this is a big one, it’s one of the building blocks that really disorients me. Ok. Here we go.
I have a brain. I can think through things. I went to school and learned things and studied and started out not understanding things and then eventually I did understand them after practice, focus, and intention. So this ability – I assumed – told me all about the world around me. I spent so much time training it and focusing on my mental ability to comprehend through primarily logic, that I assumed this is how you understand life. One of the big reasons I assumed this is because I have a huge ego. My ability to understand was the right and best way. For the majority of my life I denied that there was any other way to even see this, I never even thought about it because I took it for granted as true. Because what I see and what I experience through my intellect and senses is all that is possible in life. Ok, so I relied so heavily on this one thing, this logic. I went to college, and then I went back and got a graduate degree, and this very much reinforced my assumptions. The people I looked up to were people that could use logic and push their mental capabilities to their limits to solve problems. It seemed they also believed that logic was the only way forward. What I failed to realize is that there are other things that, if we give them the same type of effort, also help orient us and help us understand.
Now, the next part is really subtle. Because in my old mindset I could read this next part and write it off or say “ah ha, yes I see” quite quickly because I could follow the logic. But with some pause and contemplation on the matter, this next thing is a good description of the reorientation. Ok.
We have five senses. Sight, Touch, Smell, Taste, and Hearing. There are many critters around us that don’t have all of these senses. We don’t tend to think of plants as having these abilities. Worms have Touch. Different bugs have different combinations of these things. They have no ability of any kind to know about the other senses. If they cannot Hear, they cannot know what a sound would be like. It’s not comprehensible. As a human, I assumed the five senses I have are the maximum. There’s no “other” senses, this is it. What a silly thing to think! Again, that is my ego talking. As if being “top of the food chain” means nothing else could possibly exist beyond what I have access to.
On top of this, I also assumed that I should spend the majority of my life focused on understanding logic and improving my ability to comprehend things through logic. I still think this is really huge. Understanding in any sense is always good, but I had weighted logic on a scale of 1 to 10 as a 10 and weighted other things as “does not apply”. This is a slight exaggeration but not by much. When did I decide to give emotion the cold shoulder? I spend all this time and effort understanding my ability to logically think through things and understand things, and then never stopped to think, whoah, what are my emotions trying to tell me? Well, one thought I have is that emotions are chemicals, it’s all just back to logic. That allowed me to dismiss them immediately. It’s like you have seven rooms in your home but only one door is unlocked and so you spend your whole life in it instead of trying to find the keys to the other doors. Somewhere along the way, maybe in my subconscious or maybe it was always there whispering, the thought occurred to me that I could look for the key. Can you imagine? You thought your whole home was this one room your entire life and all the sudden you open a door to another room? Well, at this point, I have yet to find a light switch, there is some heavy stuff blocking the door and maybe something living in there so I can only peak inside the dark room. But yes, this room is here, and I bet there are more rooms. There may be other homes outside of my own as well.
This brings it back to the confusion I was talking about in the beginning. So I’ve created these assumptions that build firmly on a foundational assumption that all I know and all I can know is all there is and the way to know is to use your brain. It’s like the room I have lived in is the kitchen and maybe this other room is the library and I’m assuming I’ll need to use forks and knives to read the books. It’s very disorienting.
So, this is the basis of my decision to flee. I’ve built a world for myself that stands on one leg and a sandcastle, so I need to strip down and rebuild, all the way from the foundation. That means pursuing life from a different perspective. Unfortunately, other people tend to reinforce this in me. Media reinforces this tremendously, the “collective voice”. So I am pairing down to the world that sits well with my soul, and doesn’t result in me throwing red flags at myself. That means nature, few possessions, intention on the voice inside that’s slowly being allowed to speak from time to time. For me, it’s really the only way out. Out of a life lived under anesthesia. I have no idea what to expect. But you are all invited to be a part of the ride with me.